I use a highly sophisticated rating system based completely on my vibes as a reviewer. I limit myself from reading others’ reviews before writing my own. I have never been on myanimelist. I enjoy almost every anime I’ve ever watched.
I always watch the dubbed versions of anime if available as I prefer it. Specifically, my criteria for rating are listed below.
Brain
This is how much thinking you’ll have to do to reach a level of enjoyment from the show. Lower is less (you can be high and halfway into some tacos and follow along), higher means you might want a second screen with the wiki for the show pulled up (Otherwise known as the Fate series).
Boob
This is my roundabout assessment of how in your face the fanservice is. 1/5 would be Studio Ghibli territory. 5/5 is full on sex and nudity with direct mentions of that sort of thing. Note: I approve of fanservice for men and women.
Escape Velocity
This is a measure of how fast you close the browser window or change the TV channel when someone walks in, be that a family member or roommate or that cutie from Chemistry class. Think of it as a potential embarrassment scale. 1/5 means that you can watch this around your grandparents. 5/5 means you couldn’t torture my enjoyment of this out of me.
Fun
I don’t care about how great the art was, the story, etc. Was it fun? Did I enjoy myself? Higher is better.
Trashiness
Trash, trash. Call me a raccoon, because I’m diving in. This is a completely vibes based assessment of how trashy I think an anime is. It has nothing to do with the fanservice amount, the story quality, or animation quality. Don’t read into it. Higher is more trashy.